Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Growing up, I had a friend that told me, every single year, that he would dress up in these great costumes. He would plan them out and tell me how his parents were making it for him. My parents always made insane costumes for my brother and me. Maybe he wanted that.
Every year, he would dress as an old woman, wrapped like a mummy.
One year, he was going to be Gumby.
He showed up as an old woman.
His parents were divorcing and fought all the time.
He came to my house every day.
I remember that inside the trailer he lived in, he would build these giant cities and then, after a few days, we would have a disaster and destroy it. He loved disasters.
Next to their trailer, they had a house that was never finished. It was a monument to his parent's crumbling relationship. Once his dad got married again, the house was finished and he and his mom moved.
She got arrested a lot for drunk driving. She was a prostitute. She was the first woman I knew outside of my mother.
Happy Halloween, everyone.
Photo - S
Words - S
Great moments in black history
I grew up in a small town where there are few, if any, black people. Prejudice was very alive when I was young. You will still hear the term colored used. Many people say, oh, I have many colored friends. Girls got called mudsharks if they slept with black guys. The Klan would meet, up until a few years ago, right down the street from where I am writing this.
Cabbage Patch Kids were all the rage. We couldn't find any, anywhere, until a shipment came in at the Montgomery Ward. The only problem, the lady told my mother, was that they were two black ones. We didn't care, we just wanted a Cabbage Patch Kid. I saw no color as a child, only a fad that I must be a part of.
Everywhere my brother and I went, we carried our black babies along. Until one day, I was at my grandparent's and one of their friends said, "Why are your grandchildren playing with nigger Cabbage Patch Kids?" I defended my non-living, stuffed, plastic headed black adopted child's civil rights. I got mad and spoke up.
Therefore, that is my moment in black history. Defending a toy versus someone who grew up racist. I wish it was something more profound, like helping a slave in the Underground Railroad or giving my seat up on a bus. However, this was my chance. And now, you have read my story.
Photo - S
Words - S
Today is Halloween.
My Halloween moment of the year is standing in a Walgreen's at 1 AM while an elderly couple argued for 10 minutes about how they were going to pay, either by check or debit card. I was exhausted and just wanted to buy my snacks. I walked around and just was like, please be done, I just want my chips. No...still, they stood in line yelling back and forth. At this point, "This is Halloween" from The Nightmare Before Christmas starts playing, so I sang and danced until they were done.
That's my Halloween, several days early.
Photo - S
Words - S
Hemmingway's cats
Hemmingway wrote "A Farewell to Arms" in his house in Key West and also had several cats. They bred and bred and now, the Hemmingway House is populated by them. Most of them have six and seven toes. I just think its pretty awesome that cats have the run of this gigantic house. I'd like to hug every one of them.
ADDED: I just looked at the site and this cat's name is Simone De Beauvoir.
Photo - N
Words - S
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
POST 500! WOW!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
silly thoughts go through my head about the bugs and alphabet
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
These are our if then whats.
Some days they are all I have to give the world.
Some days they are all that gets the day past us.
Some days they make me smile.
Some days they make my eyes turn colors stained by tears.
Tonight, I sit here and think of if then whats.
They aren't real.
But they are.
They are mists. Ether.
You can press them between pages.
Read them in pixels.
Come back to this page again and again as the day goes on.
I know you will.
Tonight, all I have is if then whats.
Little stories, not even finished sometimes
My fingers know when they are done.
Photo - S
Words - S
I have always worked past when people have. Or earlier, when no one is there.
I love offices when it is me and the office. After the other people are there, it becomes hard for me to love it.
I miss the intimacy of the office and me. Taking my shoes off. Having a drink.
Blessed silence.
Offices would be great if they didn't have work or people.
Photo - S
Words - S
Monday, October 22, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
concentric circles as rocks hit water
small bucket of drip drop drip of our time
splash crash rock slam into
nothing really
i started as dust
thats what they taught me when they rubbed a cross on my forehead
and dust you will return
a religion obsessed with death, with blood, with the bread and body
knees on prayer rail waiting for mass to end
unable to mentally deal with thoughts of heaven
fingers graze keys as eyes fog
empty cans of soup, apple core
the world is dead at worst
asleep at best, after all its late
in the morning
these words will make no sense
to you or me or anyone really
but right now these words are all i got
fans of humidifier bleats
a stay awake song for the still awake
i hate horizontal looks
i despise silence
i fear the unknown
i hate starting sentences with I or repeating verbs
they used to call it pathos
i guess, those greeks
they also used to drink hemlock
to prove points, those wacky fucks
cat sleeps on address book
no one is getting a phone call tonight
its cold but after all its almost
november
can you believe it
the summer gave up a shit and died
i tried to string thoese rants
four sentences, repeat, then just a few
maybe i thought i had
something marvelously witty to say
the truth is, i'm tired
and simply out of things to say
Photo - N
Words - S
Well sloe gin fizz works might fast when you drink it by the pitcher and not by the glass
Monday, October 15, 2007
I hate Monday.
If we didn't have Monday, someone would invent another start to the week that I would hate just as much.
Monday is coming down from staying up all night and doing whatever you want. And more and more, Monday is to be feared, anxious worry, handwringing as I drive a car too fast on a road I don't want to travel down.
Can we skip a Monday every once in awhile?
Photo - S
Words - S
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
Life is worth living
That's what Bishop Sheen said in every broadcast.
On the Dumont network and syndicated, he rallied against communism and spoke the word of God. I watch him all the time now, they repeat him, and it's amazing. Fiery and just over the top but inspired. He is set to be canonized, so he is now referred to as a servant of God. He has two miracles to his name.
Photo - N
Words - S
My OCD manifests itself as religion.
Every step I make is calculated. I cannot let go of decision or indecision.
As a child, I tried to round off infinity.
Today, I see everything as karmic decisions that are tied into webs, connecting all things.
At night, as a child, I drew numbers with my feet.
I only did things in even numbers.
My dad might have it. He jingle jangles the door when he closes the house for the night. I used to count it when I was a kid, loose door handle making sound in the dark night.
I want a life free of numbers and strings and sequences. I want a life that is not predestined.
They say that just a little handful will cure me, make me see things in the right light. And I worry, will this handful kill my visions? Do I want them? Yes. I want creativity.
Is creativity at the expense of sanity? I always wonder.
Today, my OCD comes out in shakes. In bursts of sentences.
I try and hide it.
Photo - S
Words - S
In a small club in Cincinnati, we drove all day to get there, and here we are. The band plays "Fountain and Fairfax." They never play that song live. So I know, then, that this is their last show. The first time I realized what that song meant, I had a moment of realitization. That whole album. Cross country while the wrong person for me slept next to me, sheer insanity looming in the days ahead. In a few scant weeks, I would be decimated and never put back together again. I would become something from IKEA, with pegs left over, only to fall every time you slam your door. I heard those songs and cried into the flatlands of Kansas, as cars barrelled past me, because I had no idea how to drive a stick. She would get it started and I would drive. It's kind of like how I can't tie a tie and I wear one every day. Mitch Hedburg said ties are like a weak man strangling you all day. He's dead now, way before his time. The last time I heard "Fountain and Fairfax," I could not listen.
Photo - S
Words - S
Thursday, October 11, 2007
I call bullshit on Sweetest Day.
What is that?
Oh, Wiki, I love you so:
Sweetest Day is an observance celebrated primarily in the Great Lakes region and parts of the Northeast United States on the third Saturday in October. It is described by Retail Confectioners International, as "much more important for candymakers in some regions than in others (Detroit, Cleveland and Buffalo being the biggest Sweetest Day cities)" and an "occasion which offers all of us an opportunity to remember not only the sick, aged and orphaned, but also friends, relatives and associates whose helpfulness and kindness we have enjoyed." Sweetest Day has also been referred to as a "concocted promotion" created by the candy industry solely to increase sales of candy.
I didn't know about it until I was 18. I was dating a girl closer to Ohio and we were having a nice date. In the middle, she broke down crying, sobbing how I forgot Sweetest Day. I had never heard of it. Never ever ever ever.
So I laughed.
Like, oh, you made up this holiday.
I learned. Quick. It was real.
So Sweetest Day is October 20. You know, you don't need a holiday to show someone you care.
These folks...
Let me quote:
"Old man and woman with their grinder. no they don't get paid they just come out because they want to see the smiling faces. their toy monkeys clap and dance with glee, happy to be in the sunshine."
That's sweetest. Not a made up holiday.
Photo - N
Words - S (and quoted N)
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