Look, just because you have Christmas in your heart all year doesn't mean you can sing "Deck the Halls" at karaoke in June.

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Maybe my family album doesn't look like yours. But my family is so much cooler than yours, anyway.

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The mirrors give off the fact that your eyes are so far away. Even when your body is right here.

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Ironically, the invisible rabbits thought Harvey was just as crazy for seeing Elwood as we thought he was for seeing Harvey.

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When shopping at a magic store, count your change carefully. It can multiply. You can lose your wallet. And sometimes, nickels just turns into birds.

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What kind of puppet would you be? I'd be a wolf. You'd put me on your hand and I'd bite you. Rarrrrrrrr.

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Look, if you are going to try and kill me with a machete, the least you can do is wash your face.

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My voice to your heart.

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Buried beneath the amber under frosty mugs, his face stared out into the barely there light. Francis, born in 1962, immortal forever, drunkard's source of wonder.

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When I see those scuffs on the hardwood, I don't feel bad. They're memories made.

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Luckily, that bomb got diffused, or it would have sucked going home from work.

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I don't need an iPhone. Or anything else new they try and sell me. I got a cel. I got a sketchpad. I have a laptop. Just more and more and more and more of the same thing all in other forms. I got a TV. I got an X Box. Do I need to carry it in my pocket? It's just one more thing for me to lose.

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My bedroom is not under white man's law. Here, you can gamble. Get booze after 2 AM. And sleep all day in my arms.

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Yes, there is an airport in West Mifflin. It's fucking crazy. I mean. Really. Really crazy.

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Truly, this rabbit was the Son of God.

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After World War Hulk, I think we can all agree, the Hulk comic book began to really suck.

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You know how embarrassing it is when you get pulled over and everyone stares at you while the cop writes you a ticket? Well, I can top your story. Trust me.

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I knew there was magic here. I didn't know where. But I know this was where I had to make my home.

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Clear the runway. The bunny is in the air. And that means winter is over.

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It's only a plastic carrot. And it may be only a paper moon. But I still feel the way I feel. And that's always real.

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