I'd leave here, but no city will make me happy. I'd say that I'd be someone brand new once my feet were off the plane. I'd change my name, cut my hair, wear contacts and a tie, lose a bunch of weight, shave off my beard and never answer to the name Sam again but everything eventually would end up just like it is now, the same story, a new sequel, told by a lesser cast. That's life. A continual serial tale told the same time over and over again until you either get sick of it and shoot yourself in the fucking head or die. Well, that's a lie. You die both ways. There should maybe be another way. Maybe there is. Maybe my life is a continual battle against suicide and death. Maybe it'd be easier if that was just one enemy, you know? It's hard enough to fucking battle death. We don't need to go adding deaths derivative sidekick henchmen suicide to the mix while we are at it. Jesus, the odds against death are like, you know, 1 to 1, so it seems. I can logically win any bet where I say, I bet I die. I guess suicide isn't as tough as death, because I could bet that I won't kill myself and logically if I keep my shit together (but at what cost haw haw haw) then I will win that bet. Again, I win both ways, because if I die or kill myself, I will be dead and unable to pay you. And if we had a deal and I have to pay you posthumously from what I can only imagine is a Swiss bank account, then I will be dead and unable to enjoy material possessions, so the joke is on you, person still alive, stuck in your morality-less woe is me, oh look, a dead Sam's money made me happy. Well, I'm dead. And you won't get to read weird ass shit like this any more. You won your bet, but like I said before, at what cost? At this point, I will jump from the darkest part of your house, this all having been a practical joke that I've played on you. But then you fall down the steps and die, and it's my fault, and I feel so bad that I kill myself. And then you jump up and laugh and say, haw haw haw that was just a dummy, I have been alive all along. Now I have your money all over again! And my ghost will scream NOOOOOO! as the camera pulls back and yes, finally, folks, the fucking joke is on me.

Photo - S
Words - S