For my boy

I won't remember you as you left this world. Scared, drowning, bloody, broken down. Gasping. Afraid until you saw me and then calmed.

I will remember the times you slept on my chest and licked my beard until it was clean. When I look back in years to come, I will think of all the long talks we had where you said absolutely nothing and yet heard everything so well.

You were my first cat and we went though a lot. Marriage, divorce, fights, fun, other cats, dogs, love, loss and so much more. And you were always there for me and I was always there for you.

My life will be different now. It seems like such a small thing to an outsider. But last night, I kept catching glimmers of you. Places you should have been. And I know now, all your pain is gone. You don't need to take drugs to stay alive and you don't have me grabbing your fur to check on you all the time and you don't have that crazy orange cat chasing you all over hell.

You made my life better, little cat. I can't say it any plainer. And I can't explain it any better. I love you.

Photo - N
Words - S