A confession. My OCD was so bad when I was a kid that I felt as if I had to touch everything because I may never get a chance to touch it again. In retrospect, I can understand this. There are places that you wished that you were still welcome at, after all. It's a hodgepodge, really, that OCD. It comes from the fact that you cannot control the world and that you fear change. You then try and control things that you can. I can control touching an object before I leave the room. I can control doing things in even numbers. I always worried the worst would happen if I fell short of the tasks fate had for me to do, in what order I had to do them. It's crippling. Some days, it was a struggle to get out of bed and get ready. I am doing my best to corral it now, because I realize bad things will happen no matter how many times I mumble out phrases or have panic attacks. I think it was all a naive belief that magic could be real and guide our lives in some fashion. Now, I just try and go through my day and don't think about the significance of how I walk into a room or how many steps it takes, because it doesn't matter.

Photo - N
Words - S