I have such interesting encounters in Wal-Mart. That's why I keep coming back. I found this bottle of Cialis in the parking lot. Empty. Did someone take a whole bottle and walk around with a 19 day erection?

Last night I was in line and I ran out of laundry, so I was buying new shorts. Because I can make shorts last for 3 days. That's my uniform. Shorts and a witty t-shirt. Hipster. Anyways...

This lady was all in blue, and body wise, appeared attractive. Until you got to her leathery face and weird nose. And then you realized how blue her outfit was and she had on one of those glittery hats you only see old ladies wear to bingo. And then she said, "Ehh shorts!" and I related my laundry issues and she said, "Heh I do the same."

Now, when you are reading that, please read it in a high pitched bird voice. She then lost track of her words and began telling her son my story and he kept telling her to shut up. Then I noticed her toes.

Her big toes went the whole way across the top of her feet, laterally. Her feet look like that had been bound when she was young. They were just all over the place, but symmetrical. I could not look away but I did. I didn't want to talk to her about her feet.

The other night, it was 5 AM and I had on a shirt that said Rock and Roll 1979. So the guy starts telling me about how he saw The Pretenders on acid and now he's clean and has God and asked me if I had God in my life. Maybe he was an angel that looked like a biker. Maybe I've given up on everything and it was a sign. But I had an armload full of stuff and just wanted to go home.

Photo - S
Words - S